Beside You
by AussieCandice
Summary: Blaine picks up some self destructive acts when he moves to McKinley for Kurt. Will a loving boyfriend be enough to help Blaine through? Rated M for later chapters.
1. The Purple Piano Project

It had become Blaine's job to make his boyfriend happy. Anything to see him smile, to hear that adorable giggle. Sure he'd been happy at Dalton before meeting Kurt that day on the staircase but everything in life was far better than he could've imagined. And that was because of the older boy. He just owed him so much. More than he could put in words.

So here he was on the first day of school already planning how he was going to tell his parents that he was moving schools. McKinley. That was where he was meant to be.

"Blaine? You okay?"

He smiled back dopily at the sound of Kurt's voice.

"Better than okay" he assured his boyfriend before finishing off the rest of his medium drip. Kurt's face morphed into a hesitant smile and he quickly rushed to turn that smile as true as possible.

"I'm good. I'm just going to be late for Warbler practice" he said as he stood up and wrapped his boyfriend in a tight hug.

"Call me tonight?"

Kurt nodded as he slumped back down in his chair. He hated that his boyfriend was so many hours away at Dalton while he was stuck at McKinley. Dalton was Blaine's home though, his solace and Kurt knew that they would just have to try and deal with the distance.

* * *

Blaine hung his head as the shouting continued in his living room, wincing at the words his father was using to describe his relationship. He stood nervously in the middle of the well kept room, having only minutes ago confessing that he wanted to transfer to McKinley.

"You can't move to be with someone Blaine. Especially a boy. That's what got you into such a mess in the first place. Do you not remember the dance? Do you want that pain all over again. He's just a crush Blaine. You know it's not going to last."

Blaine shook his head vehemently as his father's voice got louder and cringed at that smell of alcohol wafting from his breath.  
"No. Dad. Stop. I love Kurt. I love him and you're not going to change that. Nothing is going to change that" he defended, surprised at himself with the few moments of courage.

"Sweetie. We're just trying to look out for you" came the soothing voice from his mom as she moved across the room to try and diffuse the situation. "Public school has been horrible for you and we just don't want to see you hurt again"

Blaine wet his lips nervously. "I know, it's going to be hard. But in two years I graduate. I have to get out of the bubble that Dalton provides. Please. Please just let me do this"

* * *

It happened. Kurt didn't think it was possible but Blaine was sitting in the choir room with him. He'd moved for him. But Kurt was a little worried. The little performance he'd done in the courtyard had seemed to get a few people off side. And he hadn't missed the whispers that it was just another Jesse St James.

Blaine had seemed so excited when he'd entered the choir room. He had that adorable puppy dog look about him and Kurt could feel his blood boiling as Finn shut that down. He could all but feel his boyfriends fear as he slumped down in his chair, nervously picking at his fingernails.

Kurt put a hand over Blaine's in an attempt to comfort him and couldn't help but keep glancing at him as the rehearsal went on.

Blaine had slipped his bag on as fast as possible as soon as it had ended and scurried out the room before Kurt had a chance to catch up to him. Kurt walked through the hallway, sighing in frustration when he was no where to be found.

* * *

_"I'm sorry I left without you. Mom wanted me home early. I'll make it up to you. Love you xx - B"_

Blaine knew his boyfriend would have been worried but he really wasn't in the right state of mind to be talking with him earlier at school. He was angry at himself more than anything for letting Finn get to him and had gone straight to the gym, letting his feelings out on the boxing bag.

Blaine thought for a second before picking up his buzzing phone and putting it to his ear.

"B?" Kurt asked, the concern floating through his voice.

"Oh hey. I'm sorry about today" Blaine answered automatically as he tried to figure out how best to appease his boyfriend. "I'm okay" he continued. "I'm sorry if I worried you"

"No. No" Kurt hurried, cutting off his boyfriends rambling. "It's fine Blaine. I was just worried about you. I'm sorry Finn was such an asshole. I'll talk to him okay?"

Kurt bit his lip from the comfort of his bedroom. "I wanted you to come to McKinley so we could be together. I would understand if you want to go back to Dalton with..

"What. Kurt. No. I love you. I've dealt with worse before. It's okay. It's just going to take some getting used to."

"Kurt?" Blaine asked when he hadn't heard anything for a few seconds.

"I love you" the mumbled voice said as it finally came through the phone.

"I love you too. So much. Pick you up tomorrow for breakfast?" he asked lightly, the smile coming through his voice.

"Yeah" Kurt nodded, forgetting he was on the phone. "I should go but are you sure you're okay?"

"Promise. Goodnight sweetie"

Kurt chuckled despite himself at Blaine's pet name. "You're adorable" he added, sighing again as his boyfriend immediately ended the call. The worry still there.


	2. I Am Unicorn

Early morning breakfasts had become somewhat of a constant between the two boys and after the events of the day before Kurt was more willing than ever to see Blaine. Sure the other boy had said he was fine, but saying and actually being it was a different matter.

To be honest he was worried about the younger boy. From what he'd learnt the previous year Dalton was his saviour and moving to McKinley would be hard. There was no anti bullying policy, nothing to protect the both of them. Kurt was used to it, used to the slushies and was already dreading the day he'd have to drag his boyfriend into the bathroom to wipe cherry or grape junks of his face. And if it ever morphed into something physical he knew he'd just be blaming himself.

"Kurt. Kiddo. Blaine's here"

The gruff voice of his father pulled Kurt out of his thoughts and he focused on what the rest of his dad was saying.

"I'm assuming you don't want me to answer?"

Kurt shook his head, shouting a quick 'no' and all but ran down the stairs to greet his boyfriend. It wasn't that he didn't trust his dad around Blaine, it could just get awkward at times. Most of the time.

"Glee practice today. I should be home by 5" Kurt notified his dad as he pulled a coat off the nearby hanger and wiggled into it. Burt nodded in response before turning his head back to watch the early morning news.

Blaine grinned widely at his boyfriend as the door swung open before revealing the flowers behind his back. The smile on Kurt's face couldn't be wider as he flew into Blaine and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"But what for? Not that I don't appreciate them. They're lovely"

Blaine grinned back as he took Kurt's soft hand, squeezing it every once in a while as they walked over to his car.

"Well I had a feeling I might have worried you last night" he offered quietly, the smile still plastered on his face.

"So you brought me flowers? God you're adorable" Kurt chuckled before capturing Blaine's lips in a chaste kiss.

The younger boy leant back up against his car when they finally pulled back. Kurt was happy. Blaine saw that smile. He heard that laugh. That was all that mattered.

"I am adorable"

Kurt smirked at his boyfriend. "Oh shut up"

* * *

Blaine's second week at McKinley was a little bit easier. Mr Schue had announced that they'd be doing West Side Story and after a lot of convincing from Kurt he'd agreed to audition. Just for a small part.

Kurt was getting increasingly excited about the whole thing and finding the perfect audition songs seemed to take up their week. They were both thrown into some dance bootie classes and to say he wasn't exhausted when he came home every day would be an understatement. Blaine was sure not to let Kurt see it though, saving his yawns for the minute he was safely in his own bedroom.

It wasn't long until the big days finally arrived. Blaine had snuck into his boyfriends audition and watched with pride as he nailed Barbra Streisand. He jumped, _glided_, effortlessly through the bars set up on the stage and he sounded absolutely phenomenal. Blaine had to stop himself from giving a standing ovation when the last note ended, opting to just whisper to himself.

"You're amazing"

* * *

"He's too feminine"

_Girly. Not a man. Can never be manly. Not fit for the role._

They weren't exactly the words that had come out of their mouth. But it was exactly what they were thinking, he knew it was. He wasn't going to get Tony. And it hurt. It just did. Because no matter how great of a singer, how complicated the dance moves, he couldn't be what they wanted. Manly. It wasn't him.

He should've listened to his first instinct. Everyone was laughing at him. Artie. Beiste. And then the last straw was Rachel. He was mortified when she'd burst out laughing when they were just about to now he was standing with baited breath in the auditorium where Blaine hesitated for a second before agreeing to audition for Tony. Kurt nodded in resignation before bowing his head and making a quick exit.

* * *

Blaine was beyond angry with himself. They'd talked about this. Himself and Kurt. Tony was off-limits. Kurt wanted it, needed it for college applications. So what did Blaine do? Agree to read for him at the slightest ask from authority.

It was three am and he was up, mulling it over and waring with himself. During their earlier phone conversation Blaine hadn't had the courage to admit what had actually gone down in the audition just saying he thought he did alright. Kurt was going to be mad at him when he finally found out. If not mad, he'd be disappointed which was every worse. He couldn't handle it when he disappointed people. Which he seemed to be doing far too often for his liking.

Realizing that he wasn't going to get any sleep he shuffled into the adjoining bedroom and frowned at his appearance in the mirror. His curls had been let free after his shower hours ago and framed his face lazily. It wasn't the Blaine that Kurt liked. At least that was what he thought.

Disregarding the time he hopped in the shower, scrubbing every inch of his body. Shaving until there was absolutely no hair left. A towel covered his lower half as his eyes carefully scrutinized his body. He had no clue why Kurt liked what he saw. The summer had seen him gain a few pounds and Blaine couldn't help but keep focusing in on his stomach, convincing he could actually see fat building up there. He knew that he really should be doing something about that soon, scared to death that his boyfriend would finally realize what he saw and ultimately break up with him.

Blaine took a deep breath to collect himself before piling on his gel. At least his hair could be perfect. That was one thing he couldn't screw up.


	3. Chapter 3

Things really started to get weird when Rachel and Finn bought Sam back to McKinley. Blaine didn't know much about the boy beforehand, only that he dated Quinn. But then Sam started integrating what could only be seen as sexual moves when they were rehearsing and something cracked.

Everyone was agreeing with the blonde, and once again he felt alone, Kurt not even sticking up for him and he was left feeling like his boyfriend favoured Sam over him.

He sighed heavily at Sam's words, pushing the boy back angrily.

"I'm not for sale" he spat out as Finn and Mr Shue pulled them apart.

Kurt frowned deeply at his boyfriend's actions, wondering what he was meant to do. He was just frozen on the spot, watching as Blaine shook his head and all but storming out the room.

"I'm going to talk to him" he said softly, already walking out of the room and spotting Blaine headed in the direction of the gym.

"Blaine" he called out before jogging up to meet him, noticing the clenched fists.

"I don't want to talk" the other grunted as flung open his locker, already wrapping his fists in bandages, keen to just take it out on the boxing bag.

"Blaine" he repeated, reaching out to hold his hands steady. "Sam is just…he didn't mean to upset you"

Blaine rolled his eyes at that. "Yeah. Whatever. Listen" he said as he struggled to get Kurt to loosen his grip. "I just… need to be alone for a little bit alright?"

"B. You're upset and I don't know what's on but I want to help"

Kurt watched with sadness as Blaine shook his head, closing the locker. He didn't know what was going on in Blaine's head and honestly it was scaring him a little, he'd never so much as seen the other touch a fly.

He wanted nothing more than to just run after Blaine's retreating form but he had no clue what he was meant to do.

"Call me?" he asked softly, tears springing to his eyes when Blaine didn't turn.

* * *

"Warbler's fucking mental"

Kurt slid his lunch on the table, glaring over at where Puck and Finn were talking.

"Man. Break up with him already. He's getting a little scary" Finn broke in before he could even get a word out his mouth.

Kurt could feel his own anger coursing through his veins at how his step brother was talking about his own boyfriend.

"Don't talk about him like that" he hissed, glaring at Finn in the eyes.

"Bro. We're just trying to look after you. We don't want you hurt"

"You've been down on him since he transferred" he scoffed. "You all have" he added, peering down the table at the multiple members of the glee club. "He's been trying to please you all for weeks now and none of you give him the time of day. You're just so up.."

"Kurt" Rachel interrupted from a few seats away.

"No. I'm talking."

"Kurt" she repeated and he finally turned to follow where the brunette was motioning.

"Blaine" he whispered, getting up and walking to the edge of the room where his boyfriend was holding on to the side of the wall, looking utterly exhausted and like it was the only thing holding him up.

"Whoa. Whoa. B" his arms made their way around his waist before moving them to sit down on a nearby table.

Kurt kept his arms around Blaine's waist, his face a perpetual frown. "You look awful sweetheart. What's going on?"

Blaine coughed and shook his head. "M' Just tired. M'fine"

"You look like you're about to collapse. You're not fine…" he replied, one hand reaching up to feel his forehead. " I haven't seen you properly in days…. I've been getting worried"

"I guess I've been boxing a bit much" he admitted, leaning into the others touch.

Kurt sighed. "I don't know what's gotten into you but we're talking later okay? But for right now I'm going to drive you home and you're going to sleep"

"I'm fine. I don't need to" Blaine replied quickly as he pulled back from Kurt getting to his feet, panicking for a few seconds as the edges of his vision blurred.

"B." Kurt called out worriedly, cursing as he caught his boyfriend when he collapsed, lowering them both to the ground gently, his hands flitting around his face. "Blaine. Blaine. C'mon wake up" he whispered desperately.

* * *

Two hours passed and the two boys found themselves cuddled up on the Hummel couch after Blaine was adamant about not going home. Kurt was reluctant at first, his boyfriend had fainted for god's sake and he wanting nothing more than to just drive him to the hospital to get checked out. But then Blaine mentioned that Carole could check him over and he finally agreed.

He sat nervously on the end of the couch while his stepmom checked Blaine over, letting out a sigh of relief but also punching his boyfriend lightly when he mentioned it could be because he hadn't eaten. Carole gave him some crackers and juice before leaving, smiling lightly at Kurt on her way out.

"Blaine. You _can't. _You can't do that again. Do you know how much that scared me?"

Blaine frowned, biting his lip at just how upset Kurt seemed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I just forgot to eat..and I might have gone a bit hard in the gym"

Kurt sighed, immediately accepting Blaine's apology as he ran a hand through his curls. "I know you didn't. It's okay…I was just really worried. Especially after the other day. You just. You _have _to look after yourself okay? Because you mean the world to me"

Blaine smiled. "I promise. And I'm sorry about the other day as well. I think everything just built up and it got to me"

"I know sweetie. " he soothed "I told the rest of the guys to take it easy on you. I know they've been horrible and I'm sorry for that… I think they're just worried after the whole Jesse situation"

Kurt snuggled against Blaine's side, watching as he just seemed to accept that.

"I know. It's okay. You guys are family and they just need time to adjust"

Kurt just nodded to himself wondering if now was an okay time to bring up everything that was on his mind. Why Blaine was finding the need to exercise all the time, or what exactly made him so upset the other day.

"Blaine. I.."

He stopped in his tracks when he noted just how exhausted his boyfriend looked and figured he could leave it for the time being.

"Will you stay here tonight? Please. I want to make sure you're okay"

Blaine smiled as he turned to capture Kurt's lips in a kiss.

"I'd love to"


	4. Chapter 4

Author note :

Thank you guys so much for all the support regarding this fic.

**Trigger warning this chapter for eating disorders.**

Next chapter will see an appearance from the warblers.

* * *

Burt raised an eyebrow when he walked in the house that evening to find Blaine and Kurt cuddling up on the couch. If he looked more carefully he could see that his son was wide awake, gently stroking his boyfriends arms, while Blaine slept close to his body. He shot Kurt a questioning look before being dragged into the kitchen by his wife.

The words were out of Burt's mouth as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Since when did we start allowing this?" he grunted as he walked to the fridge to grab a beer.

Carole rolled her eyes. "Only one Burt…They're not doing anything honey. I think they've had a hard day. Kurt had me check out Blaine earlier, apparently he fainted at school"

Burt immediately frowned at that, peeking around the kitchen door and at the two boys. He wasn't terribly fond of Blaine yet but he couldn't deny having a little soft spot for anyone who made his son happy.

"Oh. Is he okay? Should we take him to the hospital… or call his parents?" he questioned.

"No. No. I think he's fine. Just exhaustion. He said he hadn't eaten today and he does look tired. We'll see how he feels when he wakes up okay?"

Burt nodded. "Yeah. Tell Kurt he's welcome to stay here for the night"

* * *

It was a week later before Burt saw Blaine again, or rather sought him out in an effort to talk to him. He knew Kurt was worried about him and it wasn't until he was inches away did he actually understand why. The boy looked bad to say the least. The plastered on smile wasn't fooling anyone and he just looked exhausted.

"Blaine?" he greeted from the young boy's car.

"Mr Hummel" he replied politely but at the same time wondering why he was even standing in front of him.

"What are you doing here? Is Kurt okay?"

Burt chuckled as he placed a hand Blaine's shoulder. "Relax kiddo. I just wanted to talk to you"

But that had the opposite effect as Blaine flinched away from his touch and his amusement changed quickly into worry.

"Blaine? Are you okay?"

He sighed as Blaine shook it off as just being startled and dug in his pockets for his keys.

"I..what is it you wanted again?"

"Kurt's worried about you" Burt remarked. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay"

Burt watched as Blaine shook his head again. "I'm fine. I'm just getting used to McKinley. I promise I'm fine"

Realising he wasn't going to get very far he gave up reluctantly, figuring it would hopefully right itself soon enough.

"Alright kiddo. Well if you need anything you know our door's always open"

* * *

"Blaine honey?…You haven't eaten anything" Kurt said under his breath as they sat in the cafeteria during lunch.

"I'm not very hungry. I had a really big breakfast" he mumbled back as he played around with the food on his plate.

"You had breakfast with me" Kurt corrected, his stomach a bundle of nerves as he wracked his mind for a reason his boyfriend wouldn't be eating, knowing full well he'd only had a coffee before school.

Blaine paled at that. "I just..I'm not feeling very well today"

Kurt outwardly sighed as he glanced at Blaine's plate. "Can you just eat the apple for me?"

"Y-Yeah okay"

The taller boy smiled as he finished off the apple just in time for the bell to ring, reaching under the table and squeezing his hand.

"If you feel bad please promise me you'll go home. You can afford to miss a few classes B"

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand back, wanting nothing more than to just wipe the worry off his face.

"I promise"

* * *

Blaine stood in front of the mirror that night, glancing at himself with scrutiny. He missed Dalton so much, he missed his friends and the warblers but most of all he just missed being noticed. And he hated that he was starting to have to suffer through bullying again.

He just wanted control again, not to mention the idea of being that perfect boyfriend for Kurt.

Over the last few weeks he had been restricting food, exercising more but it had starting getting exhausting. But the results were starting to show, he was losing weight. Not that he could ever see it in the mirror.

It wasn't that much of stretch, whenever he was stressed he did tend to forget about food, spend more time in the gym. But this was stress times a hundred.

Blaine was hungry he couldn't deny that, but he couldn't go backwards now, not when things were starting to work. If he had any chance of getting Kurt to stay with him he needed to be that perfect boyfriend and he couldn't be that if he wasn't in shape. He would spend glee rehearsals just looking at the other boys, noticing how just..perfect they were.

And Sam. He couldn't even look at Sam without feeling absolutely disgusted about himself, especially with those abs.

He needed this. Needed something to be able to just cope.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt squinted through his dark room to pick up his vibrating phone, frowning slightly as Blaine's face popped up on the screen. He scrambled to sit up, expecting the worse.

"B? What's going on?"

He was sure he could hear his heart thumping as he waited for the reply. The last few weeks had steadily made their relationship worse and he found he honestly wasn't talking to Blaine that often.

"Oh no. I'm sorry Kurt. It's Leah"

Kurt paused, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion.

"Mrs Anderson? Wheres Blaine? Is he okay?" he asked, quickly working himself up into a panic.

There was a sigh from the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. He's fine. At least I hope he is"

Kurt heard the woman pause for a second and he wanted nothing more to shake her in the urge to know what was going on.

"It's three am" he said softly.

"I know. I'm just _worried_ about him. And I thought maybe you'd know something"

Kurt bit his lip. "What's happening?"

"He doesn't eat my dinners anymore and at first I believed it when he said he had big lunches at school..but I know my son and he's definitely losing weight"

Kurt felt the wind get knocked out of him at the statement.

"He doesn't eat at school" he replied softly, his heart clenching a little.

"That's what I was afraid of"

Kurt just nodded before realising that the other couldn't see it.

"Can I just..can you please let me talk to him first? Tomorrow"

He ran his hands through his hair nervously as she finally agreed reluctantly and he was sitting there with the phone in his lap, his heart thumping.

It made sense. It all did and the guilt was overwhelming. He was supposed to be Blaine's boyfriend, he was supposed to know everything. Every little thing.

* * *

Blaine spotted Kurt numerous times throughout the day, the look of sadness never leaving his boyfriends face. He hadn't had time to sit down and talk with him yet about it but now it was lunch and he needed to. Needed to find out what was wrong, make it better.

"Blaine" Kurt sighed sadly as he reached for the others hand, tugging him into the empty bathroom.

Hey. What's wrong?" he soothed, his hands reaching over to squeeze Kurt's.

Blaine watched as Kurt frowned.

"Your mom called me last night"

Now was Blaine's turn to frown.

"What. Why would she call you?"

Kurt bit at his lip. He'd spent all night rehearsing how he was meant to talk about this with Blaine but now he was here he had no idea how to.

"She's worried about you Blaine. She said you hadn't been eating dinner at home"

Blaine paled at that and let go of Kurt's hands, internally freaking out.

"And I know for a fact you haven't been eating here. You've been lying to her. Hell you've been lying to me"

Blaine whimpered, a sob escaping from his throat.

Sweetheart" Kurt whispered slowly, one hand reaching up to run along Blaine's jawline.

"Honey. I think I know what's going on. You know you're perfect right? You've always been perfect"

The younger boy shook his head.

"I'm not. I c-can't. I'm not good enough and -"

"_No_. No. Stop right there. You are perfect. Blaine. You don't need to do this" Kurt soothed.

Blaine choked on another sob and looked down away from Kurt's gaze, one that he didn't deserve.

"I do.. I'm not there yet. I'm still..S-Sam's still"

Kurt could feel his heart breaking and he forced himself to keep it together for his boyfriends sake.

"Hey no. You've gone too far B. It's not healthy" he hit back, tugging Blaine over to mirror.

"Okay, what do you see sweetie?"

Blaine sniffled, finally obliging and looking up. "I don't know. You. That you're perfect. And I'm just..I'm just..I'm gross"

Kurt knew the tears had finally escaped from his eyes at this point and he didn't bother reaching up to wipe them away.

"Blaine. No. You're too skinny. You've always been perfect to me. And this. This, whatever it is. It's ruining everything…I need you to stop"

Blaine hated himself. Hated himself for making Kurt cry like that.

"I'm. I'm fine Kurt"

Kurt sobbed at that.

"No. No you're not. You have to stop baby. Or I'm going to lose you and I can't do that. Can you just try. Please?"

Blaine met Kurt's eyes and he could nothing but nod as his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend, knowing that he couldn't be the cause for all that pain anymore.

"I'll try"


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt didn't know what he was meant to do. He wanted to be able to just fix everything for Blaine, make everything alright. But there wasn't a magical cure, he knew that. And he also knew he wouldn't be able to handle it by himself if things got worse. He'd spent days online trying to figure out what to do to help. And most of them said the same. Professional help. He'd broached that once with his boyfriend since the confrontation and it hadn't gone well, with Blaine just shutting him out.

Blaine had been eating though, Kurt had made sure of it, his heart breaking every time a simple sandwich seemed like such a big deal. He didn't get it. He didn't get it at all. How Blaine could see something completely different in the mirror from what everyone else did.

He'd made his boyfriend stay over for the past few days, part of a promise not to tell anyone about it for the time being. Blaine's parents had always been indifferent towards them and all Kurt had to say to Burt was that his parents were out of town and the bed in the spare room had been set up. Kurt had managed to sneak in a few times in the morning, hoping that he'd just be able to cuddle with his boyfriend but to no avail, Blaine shying away at any sort of physical content.

Kurt hated it. He hated how everything had managed to change so quickly. It felt like only yesterday that he'd started to fall in love with the enigmatic warbler and now the spark was gone. Blaine smiled. But it was forced. Like he was trying to live up to his own version on who he was supposed to be.

He also hated himself because no matter how much he tried to push the thoughts away, he knew he should have noticed something earlier. And been brave enough to say something before it got so bad.

* * *

It was the middle of exam week and Blaine had an early exam, heading back to the empty Hummel house as soon as he'd finished, knowing that Kurt wasn't due to finish for at least another couple of hours. He'd been screwing up. He'd been screwing up so bad. He hated that he was being forced to eat, forced to change something that was finally beginning to work. But there was no getting around it. Kurt was there basically 24/7 and there was no opportunity to do what he he found himself on the cold tiles of the bathroom was a mystery to himself.

Blaine sighed, running his hands through his hair as he shut the door behind him, glancing at the toilet bowl.

He'd never done it before. Never had the urge to. The image of physically making himself throw up always irked him tremendously. But he hadn't needed to before. Hunger pains could get bad, sure, but he was positive that bile forcing itself up his throat would be ten times worse. But Blaine was beginning to think it was the only way. He couldn't get away with eating minuscule amounts anymore, Kurt wouldn't let him.

Surely it had to help. If there was nothing in his stomach he couldn't gain weight could he?

Blaine took a deep breath as he opened his mouth, shoving a finger as far back as possible.

He gagged as soon as his cold calloused fingers touched his throat, coughing, and almost wanted to sob as nothing came up at all.

But he had to do it. It wasn't an option, so he plunged his fingers deeper down his throat until it finally worked. His throat burned as the breakfast he'd forced down in the morning came up which prompted another round . He'd never really had a strong stomach, and just the image of it all was enough.

Blaine scooted back from the toilet, his throat and eyes burning.

But he'd done it.

* * *

Kurt was home true to his word, two hours later, stressed to the max about his latest exam and wanting nothing more than to just fall into his bed. He'd texted Blaine earlier about how he'd done on his, getting a generic 'was good' answer. Not that he believed a word, knowing for a fact his boyfriend was up into the early hours trying to cram.

"Blaine. I'm home!"

Kurt hung his bag on the side of the couch haphazardly as he peeked into the spare room, smiling slightly as Blaine slept, his chest rising up and down in an even fashion. He scooted to the side of the bed, his thumb gently tracing the outline of the others cheekbones.

"Krrrrt" Blaine's voice was slurred through sleep and Kurt flinched as the smell hit him.

He knew that smell.

"Whats going on?"

Blaine matched Kurt's frown as he forced his eyes open to make eye contact.

"Sweetheart?" Blaine's voice was gentle when he sat up, for once wanting that contact he'd been shying away from the past couple of days.

Kurt's eyes were wide as he sat down on the bed next to Blaine.

"Have you been throwing up?"

"W-What? Kurt. Wha-?"

The gentle eyes from just seconds ago turned stormy as Kurt interrupted his boyfriend.

"Have you been throwing up?" he repeated, his heart beating to the time of the clock on the wall out of something he couldn't quite place.

"Kurt. No. No of course not"

A lump in Blaine's throat was building as he lied.

"Why are you lying to me? I can _smell_ it. I can..why? I thought you were getting better..Fuck..Blaine. I don't. I don't know what to do"

Blaine sat in silence as he looked away from Kurt, knowing fully well that he'd been caught out.

"Blaine" Kurt repeated, this time a little more gently.

"You need _help_. Help I can't give you. And please. Just can we please talk to someone?"

Blaine took a breath as he shook his head, his small frame shaking slightly.

"I don't. I don't want to hurt you. But. at the same time. I don't want to stop. I can't"

Kurt bit down on his lip hard as he looked at the distance that had been placed between the two of them.

"I don't care if you hate me. Or break up with me or whatever else might happen. But I have to tell dad. Because I can't do this on my own anymore. Do you know how long I've spent reading up about this? It's _fatal_ Blaine if we don't do anything. And you can't. Okay?. You can't anymore"

Kurt was half expecting Blaine to burst out crying but felt his heart drop further than before as he just shook his head, walking straight out of the room without another word.

And then he was left alone, forcing the pillow against his body as he cried. He desperately clung to it, tainting the fabric with tears.


End file.
